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Saturday, April 30, 2005

hello.

haven't posted in a while so here i am, thinking of what to say.

oh the cat fight thing was interesting. so here are my tips. hey, i'm experienced ok. you guys should know.

-slap. always slap. it's a tactic that might seem old and dowdy, but it always works when you want to give your opponent a shock. across the cheek, on the thigh, on the back, on the arm. i personally prefer to whack backs. hard. so that the fella can't stand up momentarily.

-punch the nose. this especially applies to situations in which you're fighting against an especially vain person. clench your fist and hit the fella's nose with it. if you're lucky you might hear an anguished "AAAAAAAAAAAAAH my nose is broken" even if its not broken.

-as for stilettos. don't just stop at the kicking. if you're opponent is wearing open-toed shoes, please do not hesitate to step on her dainty little toes. hard. you're guaranteed a satisfactory reaction. and if your opponent wears stilettos too, oh just tear them off her feet so competition will be to your advantage.

-and lastly, never overlook the humble makeup kit. dust loose powder, glitter powder, blusher and powder foundation into her eyes to make her blinded. lip gloss is sticky, so use it on her hair. stick her hair together! and squirt it onto her at the same time. eyeliner pencils can be used to poke her. or if you're anywhere near extremly violent, gorge out her eyes.

yay i'm done. but please, don't try those at home.


-daena the loanshark.

Crew of 04a04/06| 11:35 PM

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